Gone

So Michael finally pulled out this evening at about 9 p.m. He has been gone for several evenings in a row and today he was gone most of the day. I find that I am better off when he is not here since I feel like I can breath easier and am not being judged. Things are quieter and simpler.

Today I got very little done on the packing/sorting front. That is because I had housing in Nfld. on my mind. The fellow who I hired to look for a house for me sent a holy host of pictures last night for three different houses. One I decided right away would not be tolerable. The second one was nice but there was a lot of wasted space and not enough rooms to accommodate all of us. I sat and really looked hard at that one because it has the most awesome piece of property and no neighbours anywhere near by. But I could not see my way to making it work for us. The third house is just a wee little house that needs lots of TLC  but it is on a little piece of property that goes right to the water and has a beautiful view. I think I could make it work if I was able to make a few alterations. There is an attic that would have to be made into a bedroom, there is a lot of electrical upgrading that would have to be done, and some alterations to the kitchen and the flooring.... but I think I could make it work for us. I tossed and turned half the night worrying about the logistics of making the whole thing work. We can't be out of this house too soon but then we have a closing date and if everything goes as planned then that would mean that we have to be out of this house on the 20th. I can't really leave here till after that day. Which means that the movers would have to come and pick up our furniture here on the 19th but I would have to have a house in Nfld so that I could give them an address. So the whole thing has to be very carefully planned. When I get on the train going east I want to not have to look back on this place and have as much finalized as I possibly can. That means that there are decisions that have to be made.

As usual I didn't sleep well last night because this kept rolling through my head, which has meant that I have had a dreadful day being so, so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. The days started with a confrontation between me and Sir Arsewipe. That was part of my sleepless night... there were a few things that I needed to get off my chest and I had been struggling with how best to do it, and when I was going to do it. I finally took the whole thing on today... I guess I finally figured that I might as well play my hand and get everything out on the table... but there will be more about that later. Just not now. I also had to go to the clinic and get some stitches out from a small surgery that I had done two weeks ago. So that took a little time since I didn't have a vehicle to drive and I needed to get Pops to come and pick me up. All in all it has been a very unsettling day. But here it is... 10:48 and I find that everything is quiet and peaceful. It is fully dark and the full moon is up in the sky slightly hidden behind what looks like might be a light fog. It is not a hot night which is a first for a few weeks. The temperatures actually seem to be a little on the temperate side. So I am hoping that there will be nothing to keep me awake this night.

When Sir Arsewipe took the tent trailer out of the yard tonight it seemed strangely anti-climatic.  I was expecting that there would be more tears and upset.... however I was wrong. It was rather odd actually. He came charging into the house and grabbed his tooth brush and toothpaste and gave the girls a hug and never gave me a glance.... then he walked out the door with his dog leaving Narmin and Jiggs in the house and disappeared down the driveway in the truck with the trailer in tow... I sort of wasn't paying much attention at the time and wasn't sure he had actually left. It was so late when he left, I had resigned myself to him being here for another night. I had thought he had come in just to say good night to the girls. So I was surprised to see the trailer gone when I went to the door a short time later to let Narmin and Jiggs outside. I think we are beginning to both move on and he now is harbouring some very bitter feelings toward me. But that was part of our confrontation this morning and as I said I will talk about that some other time when I am more set in my own mind on which way to do it with the least amount of collateral damage. So this post is mostly to let everyone know that I am alright... the girls are alright and Sir Arsewipe seems to be fine too. Put your minds at ease over the next little while I will be working hard at getting us ready for this monumental move and there may be times when I don't get the chance to write here every day as I have been doing lately... but I will try to update every few days at least as I get more and more done.

In the meantime... big changes are coming and I will be blogging about all of that.