The Brain Power Is Completely phsssstttt!

These days I find that if it's not related to the divorce crap going on that I have the concentration of an ADHD dog. Oh shit!... does that mean I'm acting like Bailey (Sir Arsewipe's dog). That really is disconcerting. But what I mean to say is that I have very little concentration power for anything other than all things divorce. I hate that. But when I sit down to spin right off the bat I want to jump up again and go racing off and doing something else. Unpacking and sorting boxes seems to be about the best thing I can do. Sorting and organizing the junk of our lives sucks but I am able to do it so I do.

Something that I have noticed through this process is the support or lack there of from friends. I have some very good personal friends who have bent over backwards to help me and be supportive. I have some acquaintances who have come by to put their arms around me and given me a hug. But I am amazed by the people in whom I thought I had a friendship who haven't even so much as called to see how I'm doing.  And I know they know about us splitting up. Perhaps they feel their loyalties are divided. Perhaps they feel that something embarrassing might be said. Perhaps they feel that they will somehow get embroiled in our affairs. All I know is I have discovered who my friends are. It's a sad state of affairs when the people you have nurtured as friends let you down. Thanks to you all who read here and have emailed, texted, or phoned to give a few words of moral support. I really appreciate it because it reminds me that I am not alone in this world and there are people who care what happens.

Last night a lady who lives just down the road from me came by and I really appreciated that because the thing is that I really don't know her all that well. Basically she has asked the girls to take care of her cat from time to time and that's it. She seemed very supportive and was sorry to hear that things had gone so far south for Sir Arsewipe and me. She stayed for an hour or so and then there was a thunder storm brewing and we could hear it getting closer. She left to go home with the statement that her door is always open if I ever needed a friend. Nice.

Today the weather is cooler and I am glad of that since I will be back in the shed working on getting more boxes opened and more crap sorted. It seems never ending and to be honest I'm starting to think that half of our lives was in that shed. I also think that half of our lives belongs in the dump... no pun intended. But still the clearing continues... its amazing some of the stuff we have kept over the years. There's more acrylic yarn and shit than you can shake a stick at. But it is not all garbage... I am finding treasures too. Stories I've written for the girls when they were little and stories my maternal grandfather wrote for me when I was little. I have found old year books and bits and pieces from earlier years when all the world was an oyster. I even found a wee quilting project that I had forgotten I even owned. I have only a little work left to finish it and it will make a very nice little lap quilt. Or maybe I'll do some blocks for around it and turn it in to a worthwhile sized quilt. I found my great grandfather's carpentry tools and I found his old musket and gun powder horn carved with a ship. I have found things that should have been on display in this house over the years but I was always too careful about putting up in case Sir Arsewipe might think that there was too much of my stuff in the house.  In the end it didn't matter cause Sir Arsewipe is an arsehole. My pile of boxes continues to grow.... Sir Arsewipe's pile of boxes continues to grow and my spinning wheel languishes for want of attention. There is fibre that should be dealt with and an In Depth Study to think about it... Unfortunately I just can't go there... at least not yet.

Yesterday I watched a movie... "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo".  It was good. A bit gruesome in places but a well developed plot with interesting characters. I love a good mystery with lots of twists and turns. And it helped me to put all things divorce out of my mind.

Daughter #2 is still abed.  Daughter #1 checks in via text messaging on my phone each day.... I'm glad of that since keeping in touch with her gives me a reason to keep going. So we are getting along. Summer seems to be passing me by though and that bothers me. I did go swimming the other day at the pool. We had intended on a trip to Cameron Lake but in the end felt it was too much of a reminder of last year's idyllic holiday. At least we thought it was idyllic... who knew.  Yesterday was the annual Paddle For The Peace. Lots of years, Sir Arsewipe and I have taken the kids and been a part of that event.  It was hard to know that so many participated and I did not. I guess I probably should take the canoe and enjoy it while I can because I doubt very much if I'll be able to for much longer... oh there go the water works again... I best stop thinking about all of this and go through some more boxes....

Have a nice Sunday 'cause I'm sure it's deserved.