Currently It's All A Crap Shoot

Friday arrives quietly in the night while the peaceful sounds of slumber prevail. I am awake at 3 a.m. But what is new about that. The last two days have been full of disappointment. We have not sold our house yet and the one we wanted which seemed like such an excellent fit turned out to be a bed of rot much like my life has been all along without me knowing. I am glad to know that it is a bed of rot because now I won't buy it. Who needs more rot in their life. Cut out the rot and your bound to find something good eventually. The testing continues in class. For the most part I am satisfied with my marks but there are occasional hiccups. I had a big test on Wednesday and got 100% but then I've spun at least two skeins that are only in the 70-80% range. I am not sleeping well and each night I wake around 3 a.m. This is because I spend too much time grieving for what I hoped would be my life. I look ahead and see nothing but hardship and loneliness with very little light on the horizon. The future with all myy joy of going home looks bleak at best and very dark at worst. Tomorrow/today is our last day here. Olds has been a haven in an ocean of flux. I still have five samples left to do. And do them I will. Our days are long beginning work at 8 a.m. And finishing up at 6 p.m. with very little in the way for breaks. We work at breakneck speed but it seems to be completed at a snail's pace. One more day and I will be glad to finish the testing. But as I walk through campus for the last time and look at the splendiferous grounds I think I will cry for love lost and all that goes with it. Saturday I will head home to the sham of my life. And what then???