..... there was a very heavy set lady, who on Friday morning remembered that since her husband was away, it was up to her to get the garbage to the edge of the road in time for the garbage truck which came at about 8 a.m. She rolled out of her bed and decided to let the rabble out so that they might go and pee and poo in the peace of the cool morning air while she was packing garbage bags to their fullest capacity with the garbage that was needing to be got rid of... ( I know... you're never supposed to end a sentence with of... but bare with me I'm not fully awake yet, though I should be.) She looked out the door and the doggies and kitties were milling about waiting for her to come out with them. It was early about 7:30 a.m. and with some trepidation she stepped out fully dressed in her somewhat thread bare nighty with nothing else.... and I mean nothing not even a pare of skivies (undies for you non-Newfies). She looked through the trees to her nearest neighbour and felt that it would be safe since her neighbour had left for work a few day before and was not expected back for at least a week since her job was in the oil fields. With some trepidation she walked to the end of her driveway with two garbage bags... it was quite a walk in the cool morning air and soon she felt the perhaps a sweater would have been a good idea. But she carried on since turning back was just farther to go in the coolish morning air.. With trepidation still, she looked up the street for bears since there were no more houses that way just raw bush, and bears had been recently roaming the neighbourhood, and down the street aware that it was not unheard of to see people going to work at this time of the morning. She was aware that there was a slight fog down the road while up the road there was beautiful crisp clear air.... obviously the river fog was rolling in and out mightily. She put the garbage bags close to the edge of the road and noticed the lovely green rhubarb growing by the road at the end of her driveway that was not fit to eat because of both bitterness and roaming dogs lifting their legs against it but would be good if she picked the leaves for oxalic acid. She bent over knowing that she was safe from onlookers since she had checked up the road and down the road. She began plucking the leaves for a lovely batch of oxalic acid. She picked and picked until she had as many of the leaves as would fill her brewing pot. That's when she heard a soft voice of an elderly gentleman.... "you know the rhubarb stalks are what you are supposed to pick." Jumping clear into the next century she came back to earth with rhubarb leaves covering her like the feathers of a burlesque fan. Strategic leaves covering her all too clear female parts in the light-coloured, back-lit, thread-bare nighty that she was wearing.... By that time, the elderly gentleman was moving along the road toward the clear end of the road....
Damn! The bugger came out of nowhere obviously he had been in the fog all along.
The end....
I'm now going to my bedroom to change out of this stupid nighty and put on some decent clothes..... obviously your not even safe in the blasted country!
No comments:
Post a Comment