New Year

Ok so I have come to the conclusion that I have no more stories left in me at this time... so I will say it straight out instead of sitting here staring at a blank screen for an hour tapping out inane sentences before finally giving up in desperation and eating chocolate in an effort to overcome any mental block I might have. Somewhere I have read that you should start your year as you mean to go on. 2 seconds after the new year Daughter #2 placed on our relatively new coffee table a still burning sparkler and left a nice big burn in the wood. How do you deal with that when you mean to go on as you start the new year.

This last few days of the old year has been a very large disappointment. We are just 6 hours into the new year and there is a very strong Chinook blowing in this morning. But at 12:01 a.m. my house was in order.... except for the burn. The dishes were washed. The bills were paid. Pretty much everything in the house was clean if not neat. But then there was the burn... not an auspicious beginning to the New Year.

I have to wonder what 2011 will be like... especially after such a lousy ending to the old year.

Let me tell you why the old year ended so badly. Actually it wasn't the end of the world and we certainly have much, for which to be thankful.... still we have had our share of disappointments and bad patches this last year. The most recent downturn began on Christmas Eve when we discovered that my main gift which Teapot had ordered from Sears would not get here at all.... really it was nothing... I wasn't disappointed there were still lots of lovely Christmas gifts under the tree. The other disappointment was that Daughter #1's main gift came the day before Christmas and was too big... and so it had to go back... right away. Now I'll be honest, though they are disappointments... for the givers... neither of the receivers were terribly upset. That's because we do not have, in this house, a big desire for material things. But for the givers there was much disappointment. These things could be dealt with later on and so we put it out of our minds and had a lovely Christmas anyway. Then we looked forward to an anniversary party on the 28th... we had invited many of our friends and we looked forward to celebrating our 19th year together. Two couples came! That was a greater disappointment.  We had scrubbed and cooked and gotten ready for a party that just never happened. The electrician and his wife came, (they happen to be an older couple and have done much for us like our electricity renos for no pay), they are a lovely couple and we were happy to have them come and be with us for our nineteenth. Then another couple who are from back home came by in the evening with their two children (who are the same age as our kids) and are like family. They are always reliable for a party. That was it. Not another friend. Zip. None. Nada. We were heartily let down in many we call friends. And so our 19th anniversary passed into ignominy. Still we were not going to let that get us down and we looked forward to New Years Eve when we had invited a couple of friends by for fondue and to help us ring in the new year. After telling us they would love to come, they emailed yesterday to say that they were going shopping and that if they made it at all they would be late?! Like what's that all about? We ended up ringing in the new year on our own... and that's when the table burn happened.

2010 was a strange year... full of unwanted things... like an unwanted jacket commission, (remember that) a break with our church, the moving of one good friend and the death of another, a disappointment in my level 3 marks, unreliable friends, a horrible flair up with my back, and the most worrisome of all, a steady and visible decline in my parents health. If I didn't have a stronger resolution then I guess it would be enough to get me down.

Recently, I have found myself looking at real estate in Spain. It is an out you know. I never ever indulge in fantasies but recently somehow it has helped to keep my outlook on life positive. Running away makes me think that perhaps something good will come of it all, maybe a little adventure and some new acquaintances.... but here I sit with a burn in my relatively new table and a Daughter who is upset and a Teapot who is also upset at me for my reaction. And in the end who cares about the table... tomorrow I might saw the blasted thing in half and make a headboard out of it. (I thought of that at one point when I stubbed my toe on it a while back!) I lay in bed this morning thinking worrisome thoughts, I thought about my parents... but there's not much I can do there other than continue to help them the best way I can. I thought about the table and while it bother me to look at the burn I can apologize to Daughter #2 for my reaction and help her to understand that the table is not important and that I might just saw it in half.... that will appease Teapot. Then I thought about my bank account this morning, while lying in my sleepless bed, and figured that I might as well deal with the budgeting for January... so up I got, and down I came, and I checked the bank account, and low and behold... money... a little that quite honestly I wasn't expecting till later in the month. It's nice to get a little unexpected bonus. And so begins 2011. One bad thing and one good thing.

Start the year as you would wish to go on. Is my house in order.... is it ever? But I suppose... in the end... life is like that... full of ups and downs... and facing it... well, you just have to.

Have you got your house in order...?

Here's to 2011... may it be better than the year before. Salut!