Most of the time very little things occupy my mind like spinning the next skein and what I' going to get for supper and whether or not the pooches have been out recently. But every now and again very vast things enter my mind.... concepts like why? Why I'm here or what makes a person good. I even get to considering space and the vastness of that place. I see pictures on APOD of stars swirling around in darkness and wonder how far they go and how it all got started.
Lately my mind has been consumed with survival. I have received a copy of Alone In The Wilderness and have watched it a number of times now. For those of you who don't know it is the story of Dick Proenneke who back in the 60s at the age of 51 decided to hoof it off into the wilds of Alaska to live alone for a year as a challenge to himself and eventually turned into an odyssey of 31 yrs alone in a cabin he built by a lake. He left his home at 82 years of age because he felt he could no longer handle the -50 degree winters. It is a inspirational story of independence, survival and simplicity.
What is it that makes a man go off into the wilderness alone seeking contentment in a life so devoid of fellowship with one's own species? I spend a great deal of time on my own. There are days that go by where I don't see a soul except for Teapot and the Daughters and times where I can go a week and hear the telephone ring at all. The strange thing is that it does not displease me. I enjoy my families company but I know that one day the Daughters will leave home and head out into the world to create lives and families of their own. I will miss them greatly and I can't imagine life with out Teapot in it... but truth there is no other company that I crave. Still, I am not sure that I could go off into the wilderness to live without any contact for a year let alone 30. It seems almost overly decadent bordering on foolhardy. I love nature as much as anyone and usually can't wait to get out in the bush with Teapot and the girls... one of our best holidays was spent at a lake where no one hardly goes and we pretty much had the lake, and park to ourselves. But it is one thing to go there and know that there is a park ranger nearby if you need help and something else when you have no contact at all.
I have great respect for a person like Dick Proenneke. Somehow being alone instills a sense of inner quiet that is appealing. I think the word for it would be peace. But there is a difference between a man going off into the wilderness by himself and a woman. Not many would believe that a woman could do it and more than likely she would be labeled a witch in the end. Still, there is a local tale of a woman, who during the last century moved to the Northern B.C wilderness with her husband and bore him 6 children before he was attacked and killed by some wild animal. Instead of finding her way out of the wilderness to some kind of civilization she raised her children in the quiet and solitude of her wilderness home. When many years later, after her children had grown up and moved away to various places around the country, a journalist came upon her when happened to be out hunting, he was amazed to find her in her 70s and still living alone with a lifestyle that was to be envied. What got me about the story was that she evidently had enough leisure time to be able to make her own clothing from animals in the bush and be able to decorate the fabric with little bits and pieces of things that she found and even her home had embellishment to augment the decor. Obviously this was the life of a woman content and with enough know-how to provide for herself and at the same time carve out an exemplary existence that included more than just meager necessities.
I wish I had that kind of courage.
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