The sun is shining gloriously and today the big j.c. rears its ugly head. Its head down and arse up as I get down to this project once again. (I know that head down and arse up will raise an eyebrow or two but for fishermen hanging over the side of their boats and hauling in a catch of fish it was the way to say hard at work! It might work for a prostitute too!! Anyway, for me it means hard at work on the big j.c....) The warp is on and today means weaving. I think weaving on the deck will do quite nicely.
We are still waiting for lambs and Fanny looks like she is go to bust a part at the seams. Little Red looks like she is a ship on the ocean with her rolling gait. They both carried twins last year and I'm thinking that they are carrying twins again. But each morning I get up expecting to see wee lambs in the paddock but no lambs await us yet. I'm not quite sure who is lambing this year. We will see. I don't think Ipwitch, the white ram, was successful but I know Oscar the black ram was successful. So now we will see which colour lambs I get black or white. I'm hoping for at least three white ones... there are three black sheep that I want to butcher and I want to have white ones to replace them. But then the good Lord only knows when and what.
I have been having knitting DTs lately as when I put down the lace gloves a few months ago I stopped thinking about knitting for a while today I got out an old project that I didn't finish last year because I ran out of yarn and looked it over with the thought of getting back to it. I have since then spun enough yarn that matches to go on with. With tonight being knit night I think I will work on that project this evening.
We have all been feeling a little subdued with the loss of Duff. But we all feel that a new dog will help with taking our minds off our loss. So I have been looking around with that in mind to bring home a pup of some kind. We are being very specific though. Primarily we don't want a black dog or a dog with black as the main colour.... I don't know why.... we also have to have one that will be good with animals. We want a medium to large dog. Tootsie is still our house dog and we do not want to replace him. I severely miss having a dog to walk with in the mornings and though Duff has only been gone for a little over twenty four hours she has not walked with me for well over a week. We thought about a pure bred dog and decided we are a mutt family. Tootsie is a pure bred and while we love him we weren't really concerned with the fact that he has blue blood. Who cares. Mostly we want a dog that will groove with our family and that is not always easy to find.... it may take us a long time to find something we are happy with.... the most important thing is that we find a dog that is young.... and trainable. I always say that it takes a good two years to get a dog trained the way you want them.... and it is hard work.... I do really like Irish Wolfhounds though and always thought that one day I might own one. Mind you with our small house an IWH might be like putting a horse in our house!
Anyway the morning is moving on and Hubby has left to go to FSJ for a teacher workshop. The girls have eaten breakfast and since I am taking them to school I had better have at it and get myself ready.
Spring is definitely in the air.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Emptiness
The day is blustery. The grey clouds pass quickly overhead and on the fence there is a yardage of bailing twine blowing in the wind. I walk out my door this morning and there is something missing. There is no big galumping dog waiting for me to give the word to head down the trails for our morning walk.
A new Inukshuk stands on a knoll by the trail leading to the electrical shed. Inukshuks were used for many years to give the Inuit of the North markers on a markerless landscape. They were meant to help show the way home. Our Inukshuk is to show our old good dog a way home. She watches, ever faithful over our home and farm in her final resting place. I hope she has found her way home.
And our hearts are broken.
A new Inukshuk stands on a knoll by the trail leading to the electrical shed. Inukshuks were used for many years to give the Inuit of the North markers on a markerless landscape. They were meant to help show the way home. Our Inukshuk is to show our old good dog a way home. She watches, ever faithful over our home and farm in her final resting place. I hope she has found her way home.
And our hearts are broken.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Poor Big Dog
It's hard to watch. A week ago she was following me around when I went to check on the sheep. We've watched her deteriorate all week. She barely lifts her head and she won't take food anymore. She lies listlessly watching what we are doing and she can't get up and move. It has been three days since she last ate and today she won't take water. This morning she was whimpering when I got up at 5:30 a.m. The meds are not working and though I knew this two days ago Hubby had not come to terms with it.... We all had to be on the same page. Today she will go on her last car trip, today she will see her last sunrise.
Figgy Duff
November 2000 - April 2010
So sad, we are, to lose our friend and loyal companion.
Figgy Duff
November 2000 - April 2010
So sad, we are, to lose our friend and loyal companion.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Vets, Birthdays, And $$$$
Happy Bitherday to me.... I mean Bitherday.... not Birthday..... so there is a bit of a story behind that one.... want me to tell it? Well, Ok.
Once upon a time there was a little girl who was in grade one and she really liked her teacher. One day the teacher assigned a project to the whole class. All the grade one students had to make a diary for art class and then write in it for a whole month. The little girl got down to it and pulled out all of her favorite coloured construction paper. She cut and she pasted and she stapeled and she glued and when she was finished she had used all of her creative energy on her diary. It looked really pretty, sort of like and red juicy apple with a green leaf and a worm sticking out. She got a really good mark on the art part of the diary.
But now she had to take her diary home and write in her diary every day for a whole month! The little girl was not a particularly good scholar and so each night she would look at her diary and write something about her day.... it wasn't much but the teacher had said that it needn't be any more than a sentence or two. When the month was over (the month of April) the little girl handed in her assignment and it was marked and passed back..... she had passed and that was that. Or so she thought....
Many years later, when the little girl had grown up and had finally finished school, her mother gave her a keepsake as a graduation gift.... It was a scrapbook of all the work the little girl had done over the years in school. The little girl smiled as she read through some of the projects her mother had kept.... until she came to the grade one section and there before her was the Apple shaped diary she had so lovingly made in grade one. She began to read it and it read something like this...
April 1
I saw a flower.
April 2
I saw a flower.
April 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,
I saw a flower.
April 15
I piked a flower.
April 16,
I had a Bitherday
April 17
It rained.
April 18
I went to my Grandfather's house
April 19
My Dad's car broked down.
April 20
My grandfather gave us a ride back home.
April 21, 22,23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
I saw a flower.
The little girl, who had now grown up, laughed and laughed until she fell off her chair and the tears rolled down her cheeks.
From that day forward, the little girl always called her Birthday not a Birthday but a Bitherday. So happy Bitherday to me!
Oozle the Knob gave me a present this morning.... yes he did, the little pain in the a--! It all began yesterday. Duff the big dog has been ailing all year off and on. She has had a harder and harder time keeping food down and when she does it usually manages to come out the other end with a resounding rush! This has worried me. This has been a source of consternation for all of us. Hubby and I have been trying to find a food that is not a problem with our big pooch. (Hang in there, I know this has nothing to do with Oozle's gift.... but it is coming I promise.) Recently she has really taken a serious turn for the worst. The day the alpacas were gelded the vet checked her out and felt that it was fairly serious what was happening with Duff. Her blue eye has turned green which is usually significant considering that she is probably got a serious amount of toxins in her system. The vet took some blood samples and has put her on prednisone to see if that will help, but in all honesty I don't think it is... in all honesty I think our good big dog is not going to see another year.... maybe not even a month. With all this on my mind I have not really been paying too much attention to our other pets. Tootsie the wonder chicken herder is chasing balls in every attempt to seek attention and stares pathetically at us to play with him. Midnight our old cat just quietly sneaks off into a corner and steels food from the other pets bowls knowing while my mind is otherwise occupied he'll get away with it. And Oozle the Knob disappeared for the spring testosterone high of the year.
Lunch time yesterday.... I got a call from the Animal Control guy in town.... he asked if we owned an orange tabby cat. I answered, "Yes unfortunately."
After paying $25.00 to get the sod out of jail, I had agreed to get the blighter neutered.... ( I think I will call this nard week.... or maybe nardless week... ) anyway, when the vet called with Duff's blood test results, I made an appointment for this morning to neuter Oozle. Gak! at 8:30 a.m. I woke early once again worrying about Duff and got up to discover that I had a very angry cat in my living room. He wanted out to go find his Juliet, femme chat, honey pot, etc... He had been bathed and readied for the vet this morning since he came home from jail smelling pungent to the extreme. I crated him in a box. tied a rope around it so that he wouldn't go nuts in the truck... I knew this from experience (cats don't like vehicles but that's another story for another time). He began yowling before I got out of the driveway... so how was I to know. With all that yowling I thought he just wanted to get out of the box. Hmm.... Just before I got to the vet's, which is an hour's drive away..... hmmm.... he couldn't hold it anymore and quickly the truck was permeated with a smell soooo foul my eyes were soon watering. I pulled over on the side of the highway. Hmm.... what to do now? I got him out of the box and a leash on him and got him tied on without too much incident..... but I had a box most foul to deal with.... hmm. I chucked it in the back of the truck where the open air could deal with it and thought when I got to the vet's there would be a dumpster.
I began to drive with the cat in the back seat tied to the seatbelt so he wouldn't latch onto my head in an effort to appease his terror. (You'd be scared too if you were about to be nardless!) The smell was divine..... hmmm... ok so that was serious sarcasm! But in less than 10 minutes I was at the vet's and the windows have never been wider open. I untied the leash and carried a now very p----d off cat into the lobby, filled out the forms as a very nice lady took the offending-on-the-olfactory creature into the back where he would be injected with anasthetic before his procedure..... I at that point was thinking that a cat in a stove pipe was not such a bad idea. (For those of you who don't know.... some of the cowboys around here will perform the nardless surgery on cats for free.... just put them in a stovepipe upside down where they can't claw you, hold their back lags open, snip snip and it is done.... but it is very primitive and not very ethical.) I dropped the stinking box into the dumpster on the way out and was relieved to be rid of the smell.
In the truck once again.... hmm... the stinky smell is still stronger than it should be..... hmm....
I stop and get out to have a look.... no poo... no pee that I can see. That's when I discovered it. A large streak of poo..... yes.... it was on me! Lovely!
I spent $1000.00 dollars for vetrinarian services this week.... All that $$$ and not one cent for me on my Bitherday! All I got was a wet wipe to remove the poo.... but to be honest.... that's all I wanted... well, that and Oozle to be nardless.
I wonder what the bugger has in store for me when I go later to fetch him home!!
Once upon a time there was a little girl who was in grade one and she really liked her teacher. One day the teacher assigned a project to the whole class. All the grade one students had to make a diary for art class and then write in it for a whole month. The little girl got down to it and pulled out all of her favorite coloured construction paper. She cut and she pasted and she stapeled and she glued and when she was finished she had used all of her creative energy on her diary. It looked really pretty, sort of like and red juicy apple with a green leaf and a worm sticking out. She got a really good mark on the art part of the diary.
But now she had to take her diary home and write in her diary every day for a whole month! The little girl was not a particularly good scholar and so each night she would look at her diary and write something about her day.... it wasn't much but the teacher had said that it needn't be any more than a sentence or two. When the month was over (the month of April) the little girl handed in her assignment and it was marked and passed back..... she had passed and that was that. Or so she thought....
Many years later, when the little girl had grown up and had finally finished school, her mother gave her a keepsake as a graduation gift.... It was a scrapbook of all the work the little girl had done over the years in school. The little girl smiled as she read through some of the projects her mother had kept.... until she came to the grade one section and there before her was the Apple shaped diary she had so lovingly made in grade one. She began to read it and it read something like this...
April 1
I saw a flower.
April 2
I saw a flower.
April 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,
I saw a flower.
April 15
I piked a flower.
April 16,
I had a Bitherday
April 17
It rained.
April 18
I went to my Grandfather's house
April 19
My Dad's car broked down.
April 20
My grandfather gave us a ride back home.
April 21, 22,23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
I saw a flower.
The little girl, who had now grown up, laughed and laughed until she fell off her chair and the tears rolled down her cheeks.
From that day forward, the little girl always called her Birthday not a Birthday but a Bitherday. So happy Bitherday to me!
Oozle the Knob gave me a present this morning.... yes he did, the little pain in the a--! It all began yesterday. Duff the big dog has been ailing all year off and on. She has had a harder and harder time keeping food down and when she does it usually manages to come out the other end with a resounding rush! This has worried me. This has been a source of consternation for all of us. Hubby and I have been trying to find a food that is not a problem with our big pooch. (Hang in there, I know this has nothing to do with Oozle's gift.... but it is coming I promise.) Recently she has really taken a serious turn for the worst. The day the alpacas were gelded the vet checked her out and felt that it was fairly serious what was happening with Duff. Her blue eye has turned green which is usually significant considering that she is probably got a serious amount of toxins in her system. The vet took some blood samples and has put her on prednisone to see if that will help, but in all honesty I don't think it is... in all honesty I think our good big dog is not going to see another year.... maybe not even a month. With all this on my mind I have not really been paying too much attention to our other pets. Tootsie the wonder chicken herder is chasing balls in every attempt to seek attention and stares pathetically at us to play with him. Midnight our old cat just quietly sneaks off into a corner and steels food from the other pets bowls knowing while my mind is otherwise occupied he'll get away with it. And Oozle the Knob disappeared for the spring testosterone high of the year.
Lunch time yesterday.... I got a call from the Animal Control guy in town.... he asked if we owned an orange tabby cat. I answered, "Yes unfortunately."
After paying $25.00 to get the sod out of jail, I had agreed to get the blighter neutered.... ( I think I will call this nard week.... or maybe nardless week... ) anyway, when the vet called with Duff's blood test results, I made an appointment for this morning to neuter Oozle. Gak! at 8:30 a.m. I woke early once again worrying about Duff and got up to discover that I had a very angry cat in my living room. He wanted out to go find his Juliet, femme chat, honey pot, etc... He had been bathed and readied for the vet this morning since he came home from jail smelling pungent to the extreme. I crated him in a box. tied a rope around it so that he wouldn't go nuts in the truck... I knew this from experience (cats don't like vehicles but that's another story for another time). He began yowling before I got out of the driveway... so how was I to know. With all that yowling I thought he just wanted to get out of the box. Hmm.... Just before I got to the vet's, which is an hour's drive away..... hmmm.... he couldn't hold it anymore and quickly the truck was permeated with a smell soooo foul my eyes were soon watering. I pulled over on the side of the highway. Hmm.... what to do now? I got him out of the box and a leash on him and got him tied on without too much incident..... but I had a box most foul to deal with.... hmm. I chucked it in the back of the truck where the open air could deal with it and thought when I got to the vet's there would be a dumpster.
I began to drive with the cat in the back seat tied to the seatbelt so he wouldn't latch onto my head in an effort to appease his terror. (You'd be scared too if you were about to be nardless!) The smell was divine..... hmmm... ok so that was serious sarcasm! But in less than 10 minutes I was at the vet's and the windows have never been wider open. I untied the leash and carried a now very p----d off cat into the lobby, filled out the forms as a very nice lady took the offending-on-the-olfactory creature into the back where he would be injected with anasthetic before his procedure..... I at that point was thinking that a cat in a stove pipe was not such a bad idea. (For those of you who don't know.... some of the cowboys around here will perform the nardless surgery on cats for free.... just put them in a stovepipe upside down where they can't claw you, hold their back lags open, snip snip and it is done.... but it is very primitive and not very ethical.) I dropped the stinking box into the dumpster on the way out and was relieved to be rid of the smell.
In the truck once again.... hmm... the stinky smell is still stronger than it should be..... hmm....
I stop and get out to have a look.... no poo... no pee that I can see. That's when I discovered it. A large streak of poo..... yes.... it was on me! Lovely!
I spent $1000.00 dollars for vetrinarian services this week.... All that $$$ and not one cent for me on my Bitherday! All I got was a wet wipe to remove the poo.... but to be honest.... that's all I wanted... well, that and Oozle to be nardless.
I wonder what the bugger has in store for me when I go later to fetch him home!!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Animals Around Here
We had an awkward day yesterday. I had called the vet some time ago to catch him when he was in our area next time so that I could get 2 of my 5 alpacas gelded. I forgot that yesterday was the day. And so when He showed up I was surprised to say the least. And certainly not prepared the way I should be. We went ahead and caught the two alpacas that are the worst fighters and before long we had them on the ground (having had a anesthetic)and had their nether regions exposed. The vet did a little surgery right in the midst of poo and the two boys were up and on their feet in no time at all. It actually was quite a bit more work than I am making it sound. But all went well and it is done. So now Axton and Benny are gelded and we will see how they do.... if there is still a lot of fighting then Dexter will get it next time the vet is in town. I will keep Coal and Eddie as studs because they are not related to Mishka who is my female. Lets just say that Axton and Benny are keeping their tails pretty tightly tucked today.
Duff our big dog, has not been well. We have watched her deteriorate over the last year in energy and small health concerns. But recently she has had several bad health problems. The latest occurred a few days ago. She started lying around listlessly and not eating her food and then right out of the blue she started panting very heavily and then we notice her blue eye turned green. When I went out to greet the vet in the driveway she wasn't able to get up and walk. The vet was concerned, and so am I. Very concerned. The vet took her temperature and took a blood sample and is going to let me know the results today. But I am not holding out a lot of hope. She is 9 almost 10 years old and the vet mentioned that cancer might be one of the possible problems. He also thought that she might be allergic to something like her food. We are going to try her on canned food for a while and see if it is all the corn in the dry food.... I just hope we don't loose her to this illness.
Well I'm off today.... to weave on the deck.... I don't thin I'm going to have the big j.c. done in time for my birthday either... too many interruptions this week. It is going to be another glorious day at 16 degrees.... in mid April... I can't help but get out there and enjoy it.
Duff our big dog, has not been well. We have watched her deteriorate over the last year in energy and small health concerns. But recently she has had several bad health problems. The latest occurred a few days ago. She started lying around listlessly and not eating her food and then right out of the blue she started panting very heavily and then we notice her blue eye turned green. When I went out to greet the vet in the driveway she wasn't able to get up and walk. The vet was concerned, and so am I. Very concerned. The vet took her temperature and took a blood sample and is going to let me know the results today. But I am not holding out a lot of hope. She is 9 almost 10 years old and the vet mentioned that cancer might be one of the possible problems. He also thought that she might be allergic to something like her food. We are going to try her on canned food for a while and see if it is all the corn in the dry food.... I just hope we don't loose her to this illness.
Well I'm off today.... to weave on the deck.... I don't thin I'm going to have the big j.c. done in time for my birthday either... too many interruptions this week. It is going to be another glorious day at 16 degrees.... in mid April... I can't help but get out there and enjoy it.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Middle Aged
Sorry for being off line for a few days but I have had a problem with the keyboard on my computer.... I think the connecting wire is not connecting any more. So for several days I have not had a keyboard on which to type. I am using a borrowed keyboard for the next few days until I get to town and buy a new one.
In two days I will be another year older. You would think that this would bother me but it really doesn't. I am happy to say that I went through my mid life crisis in my thirties and got it over with then. This decade has been a decade of shedding some of my obligations so that I can finally enjoy doing the things that I want to do without obligations hanging over my head. The problem is I don't know how to say no. That's a bad thing. I don't think I'm the only one. I hear many of my friends complain about having obligations that they don't want to fill. I shed a big one this week. I have decided to give up lay reading at the church and I am stepping down from all the positions that I hold there. It is a huge burden lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in years I feel free. I'm wondering if it is because I am middle aged.
One of my friends says that as she has gotten older she is quicker to say when things p--- her off, where as when she was younger she would keep her mouth shut and let things slide when it bothered her. Perhaps that is sort of what is happening to me... maybe I'm a little more testy about giving up my time, especially when it is taken for granted.
I want to get my business up and off the ground. I want to take pleasure in my family. I want to take vacations without having to worry about who is going to fill in for me while I am gone. I want to enjoy my deck more.... and stay home with Hubby on the weekends and sip tea till 11 a.m. if I want. I, in essence, want to retire. It is a good feeling to know that you can.
April 16th is my day. I'm looking forward to being another year older and maybe a little more wiser. All is good. Being middle aged is not so bad.
In two days I will be another year older. You would think that this would bother me but it really doesn't. I am happy to say that I went through my mid life crisis in my thirties and got it over with then. This decade has been a decade of shedding some of my obligations so that I can finally enjoy doing the things that I want to do without obligations hanging over my head. The problem is I don't know how to say no. That's a bad thing. I don't think I'm the only one. I hear many of my friends complain about having obligations that they don't want to fill. I shed a big one this week. I have decided to give up lay reading at the church and I am stepping down from all the positions that I hold there. It is a huge burden lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in years I feel free. I'm wondering if it is because I am middle aged.
One of my friends says that as she has gotten older she is quicker to say when things p--- her off, where as when she was younger she would keep her mouth shut and let things slide when it bothered her. Perhaps that is sort of what is happening to me... maybe I'm a little more testy about giving up my time, especially when it is taken for granted.
I want to get my business up and off the ground. I want to take pleasure in my family. I want to take vacations without having to worry about who is going to fill in for me while I am gone. I want to enjoy my deck more.... and stay home with Hubby on the weekends and sip tea till 11 a.m. if I want. I, in essence, want to retire. It is a good feeling to know that you can.
April 16th is my day. I'm looking forward to being another year older and maybe a little more wiser. All is good. Being middle aged is not so bad.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Scrambled Or Beaten
That's my brains today.... maybe even scrambled and beaten. I'm waiting for some herb biscuits to come out of the oven... and then I'm off to town for a day of spinning again. Hubby is away in Victoria and we miss him dreadfully... but while the cat's away the mice will play : ) Meanwhile, lack of sleep does not help my poor brain which has been fighting one of those ugly migraines for two days. Scrambled and beaten... yup that's me today.
At least the furnace is back on... propane in the tank and everything is fine..... no more whiffs of propane floating around the joint. All is calm cool and collected... except for me.
Have you ever gotten one of those days where you have so much to do that you don't no where to start? That's what's happening to me.... it all started with crawling into bed last night and having a dog to cozy with instead of a Hubby. Suffice it to say that a gimpy dog (for the last week) is not the best bed mate. Having woken several times because the wee bugger felt he should have tree quarters of the bed instead of the two foot square space alloted, and finally waking enough at 4:30 a.m. to heft said wee bugger off the bed altogether, doesn't make for a happy Frankie. So having tossed and turned for another hour, I finally got up and spun on the drop spindle for a while. At 6:45 a.m. I was feeling sleepy enough to go back to bed. Shortly after, I heard Daughter #2 get up to get her breakfast, probably because the wee bugger was now pestering her and trying to take control of her bed instead of mine. I drifted off into la la land only to be woken a short half hour later by a crumby cat meowing at the top of the steps in an effort to find a comfortable human to cozy with.
It was at that point that I had visions of a mad woman (me) in a rather thread bare nightie and very wild hair standing on the balcony outside her bedroom swinging a dog on the left and a cat on the right by their wee tails and sending them soaring through the air into space with a rubber L.L. Bean boot permanently sticking from their posteriors.... (I do have violent thoughts from time to time, but I try not to let it show...)
So I sit here waiting for my biscuits to come out of the oven (no I'm aware that they won't do that on their own) and then I'm heading off for my spinning and a day of relaxation....
If you see any wee buggers flying through the air.... well, you know that I lost it and my brains became completely scrambled and beaten....
At least the furnace is back on... propane in the tank and everything is fine..... no more whiffs of propane floating around the joint. All is calm cool and collected... except for me.
Have you ever gotten one of those days where you have so much to do that you don't no where to start? That's what's happening to me.... it all started with crawling into bed last night and having a dog to cozy with instead of a Hubby. Suffice it to say that a gimpy dog (for the last week) is not the best bed mate. Having woken several times because the wee bugger felt he should have tree quarters of the bed instead of the two foot square space alloted, and finally waking enough at 4:30 a.m. to heft said wee bugger off the bed altogether, doesn't make for a happy Frankie. So having tossed and turned for another hour, I finally got up and spun on the drop spindle for a while. At 6:45 a.m. I was feeling sleepy enough to go back to bed. Shortly after, I heard Daughter #2 get up to get her breakfast, probably because the wee bugger was now pestering her and trying to take control of her bed instead of mine. I drifted off into la la land only to be woken a short half hour later by a crumby cat meowing at the top of the steps in an effort to find a comfortable human to cozy with.
It was at that point that I had visions of a mad woman (me) in a rather thread bare nightie and very wild hair standing on the balcony outside her bedroom swinging a dog on the left and a cat on the right by their wee tails and sending them soaring through the air into space with a rubber L.L. Bean boot permanently sticking from their posteriors.... (I do have violent thoughts from time to time, but I try not to let it show...)
So I sit here waiting for my biscuits to come out of the oven (no I'm aware that they won't do that on their own) and then I'm heading off for my spinning and a day of relaxation....
If you see any wee buggers flying through the air.... well, you know that I lost it and my brains became completely scrambled and beaten....
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