One Christmas she decided to buy the Daughter #2 a pair of jeans because she needed them and because she loved her Daughter #2 very much indeed and that is what the Daughter #2 wanted most in all the world for Christmas. (The Daughter #2 had a lot of trouble buying jeans because she was/is so tall... )The old hag mother tried getting nice jeans from the Sears catalogue but had no luck. So the old hag mother took her daughter to a jean store in the nearest mall in the hopes of finding a very nice pair of jeans. The store that she took the daughter to was known as having jeans that were popular with all the coolest kids in town...
Now the old hag mother had not been shopping in the store in question for several years because most of the jeans in the store were barely muff dusters. But she thought that she might find something for the daughter that was cool but at the same time not quite so revealing. They walked into the store together hopeful that all would go well and that the daughter would be leaving the store in a short while with the said desired jeans. The
The Daughter #2 was happily going through the jeans on the racks and picking out several pairs to try on when the old hag mother found the perfect pair. She handed them to the Daughter #2 to go and try on...
While the Daughter #2 was trying on the jeans, the old hag mother was looking at pretty tops that the Daughter might like as well. A few moments later, the Daughter #2 came out of the change room with the jeans on and a new top as well.... and looked just smashing. By this time they were getting down on time and knew that they would have to meet Teapot and the Daughter #1 at the theatre in about 10 minutes. The Daughter #2 went back into the change room and took off the jeans and the top and handed them to her mother along with another top and said that the price was 2 for 1..... hmmm.
The Daughter #2 was getting her own clothes on when the old hag mother walked over to the lineup by the cash registers to pay for their purchases.... there were a few in the line ahead of her.... and there wasn't much time left. The person ahead of her stepped up to the counter after a few minutes and the good wife was getting panicky in line...... (I bet you're wondering why I switched from old hag mother to good wife....) The Daughter #2 was now standing just off to the right of the line up with a white strained look on her face because she really wanted to see the movie. Just as the good wife was thinking I'm going to have to hide this pile of clothes in a spot somewhere until after the movie, the cashier finished with the person ahead. By now, the good wife and the Daughter #2 were late.... by about 5 minutes and the movie would be starting any minute now. Very quickly the good wife threw the clothes on the counter and fished around in her purse for her debit card.... meanwhile the cashier was entering all pertinent information.... she turned and told the total to the good wife and the good wife, hearing her, passed her the card.... in a matter of minutes the good wife completed the transaction and took the bag and the receipt and headed off at a run up the mall to the theatre..... but the Daughter #2 was worried .... her mother had a funny white pinched look on her face.... there was something really wrong with her mother. After a few seconds, her mother was slowing down and not walking as fast... she looked like she was going to be sick.... so she asked her mother if she was ok.
The good wife/ good mother was having an aneurysm.... (don't panic... not really.... it just felt like it)!
She said to her daughter, "I just spent $200.78 on two tops at $14.50 each which means that there's something wrong with the price of the jeans..... I'll have to look at the receipt and figure out what just happened... she must have charged me twice for the jeans... we'll have to go back..." Seeing the stricken look on the daughter's face she said, "it can wait till after the movie..... " Meanwhile they were still speeding down the hall of the mall toward the theatres..... but as they went along the good mother kept mumbling to herself.... things like... "it can't be" and "there must be some mistake" and " I couldn't be that naive could I" and "they wouldn't do that really"..... until finally the good mother stopped in her tracks and just stared at the receipt that she still gripped in her white, tight fist... and there before her eyes was the price of the jeans...... $148.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Holy #%#$$%&%$ a moly. That can't be real?" she squawked. People all around were looking at her strangely....
She thought she was dieing as the shock sunk in that she had just been taken by a bunch of cheating b---ards!
After a few seconds the Daughter #2 took her by the arm and dragged her along down the hall. She could see her father in the distance and knew that he would make everything alright.
Meanwhile the good wife was trying to get a hold of herself and when she saw the Teapot she said in an undertone, "I have something horrible to tell you.....!"
He turned to her and saw that it was a serious matter right away by the horrid look on her face. She realized that others were looking on, and trying to be the loving, happy family that they usually are.... (ok, so like everyone else on the face of the planet... we have our problems too!) she smiled and said, "I need to sit down... lets just go into the movie and I will tell you in there."
In the dark she relayed to the Teapot the price of the jeans that she had just purchased and so they looked at the price tag on the jeans to make sure that she hadn't been charged twice..... and yes, they were $148.00. ACCCKK! Teapot was now in the grips of an aneurysm. The first thing out of his mouth is, "You have to take them back.....!" And the good wife, being a good wife, kept her head and replied very politely that she was not a moron and that she knew this.
In the dark while Reepicheep was defending his honour, the good wife came to terms with the problem she found herself in. She had been blinded by time... she hadn't looked at the purchase price of the jeans, she had been lulled into stupidity by the passing of time and thinking that knobs that set prices are money grubbing sh-t...well you get my drift... Daughter #2 was whispered to and made aware that she could not keep the perfect jeans because they were highly overpriced pieces of cotton sewn together in some third world sweat shop for about five dollars and then bejewelled with a 1960's bejeweler and sold to dimwitted mothers too stupid to look at prices.
The jeans went back, of course.... and we bought Daughter #2 a lovely purple (her favorite colour) blouse and a lovely pair of black floaty dress pants and a necklace to match the blouse... an outfit that makes her look like she is a very tall, slim and beautiful model, at a much more reasonable price at a much more reasonable store.... and never again will we shop at Bootlegger (oops... I shouldn't have said that).... because they are abunch of money grubbing smuck heads for trying to sell cotton denim (bejeweled or not) at anything nearing the price we almost paid....
Buyer Beware.... Merry Christmas.
Shopping sucks the big one!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment