Right well my work was supposed to go in the mail today. It is still sitting on the coffee table as I have put in the worst 24hrs with a really bad back.... at least I am hoping that is what is going on. Since the trip down the river in late August I have been carefully nursing what was up to that point a back that would only give problems occasionally but lately (since the trip) it has done a complete nose dive and is giving me trouble like never before... and even medication is doing nothing. For 4 days after the trip I could barely walk with a bad case of sciatica that stemmed from a prolapsed disk in my lower spine which I have known about for years. It seemed to clear up and then yesterday evening it came back. But this time along with the sciatica came a really bad case of spastic muscles in my lower left leg calf. My leg does not want to hold me up. My muscles in that area are permanently contracted and they will not ease up. I have tried the new bath and it feels lovely while I am in the tub...but the minute I lift myself out... I am back to square one. Going up steps has become a lesson in patience as my left leg will not work.... basically what is happening is the nerves that exit my spinal cord at the site of the prolapsed disk are being squeezed. They are being slowly and inexorably damaged. I have seen a specialist about this problem and he has told me two things which will affect any decision I make regarding my future back issues...
1. I have had already three surgeries in this area. This means there is an abundance of scar tissue. Scar tissue for a surgeon is like a mine field. The specialist will not even contemplate corrective surgery, which involves a spinal fusion, without an MRI..... I am seriously claustrophobic. I tried to do an MRI a few years ago and I made it in to my nose.... then panicked.... I couldn't breath... I didn't stop running until I got to the great outdoors. (I'm not kidding!) If ever I try to go back in that machine again I will need serious drugs to get me through.... like, knock me out drugs. I also have a fear that an MRI (magnetic resonance imager) will turn me into a human magnet since I have a 15 inch steel rod in my back. Going into my back for the surgeon, without an MRI is like traveling through a mine field blind folded and I could be left in a wheel chair.... this scares the $h!t out of me!!!
2. I was advised that since I already have 15 spinal fusions for spinal scoliosis that having another spinal fusion would mean a lot more limited movement in my back. Already my spine has limited movement and adding the one at the bottom would mean that I might not be able to turn... swivel.... you get my drift. To turn around I would have to turn my complete body. Also I would be that much more ramrod straight..... there would only be 4 discs left absorbing shocks and that would seriously alter my lifestyle so basically I want to seriously think about this surgery before going through with it.... the doctor said that I really need to postpone it as long as I can.
It has been 8 years since the last surgery.... but with my leg now starting to go spastic I'm thinking that surgery is definitely in my future and probably nearer than I think.... that is if I can face the dark minuscule hole that is the MRI machine.
So the plan is to drug myself for the next few days with serious quantities of anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxants, and pain killers, hope that this pain goes away soon and stays away, for at least 6 months. I will also try really hard to get a decent night's sleep so that I can function. Then I will get my books in the mail to my instructor as soon as I can get to the post office... which will happen before the weekend since I will call in the help of Teapot or Fadder if I have to.
Amen to best laid plans.
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