Inside My Own Head

I've always been a bit of a loner. When I was going through my teens I always enjoyed walking on the beach that graced the town of my grand parents. I'd wait until the evening came when everyone was gone for the day and then I would walk along the beach in the pleasure of my own company. Even now, years later, I really don't have an issue with being alone. I always find something to keep me busy. As a matter of a fact after spending time in the company of friends, more often than not I get to the point where I start to feel restless and this is an indication that I've had enough of chatting and gabbing and I need to go off on my own. That is why I find it so strange that I am not looking forward to the time when school starts again. At that time Teapot and the Daughters will be returning to another year of school and I will be once again on my own.

Most of my life has been spent inside my own head and I find it quite soothing at times to not have to express myself to others. I do that through my art, I think. Poetry has been an outlet for me for many years. Originally it started as a bit of fun. I would write some foolish stuff to who ever was having a birthday or special occasion, but then it became something a little more. I'd often sit down with a journal and write poems. Some of them totally suck : ) and some of them are a little better. I also express myself in the form of paintings. I paint all the time. Sometimes I paint with water colours and sometimes I paint with acrylics but it is always a joy and a pleasure to put a paint brush to work. Then there is this blog which is a way for me to come out of my own head a little and let people know that I exist, (you know... because I am such a fading flower!!!). Still that time spent inside my own head is really quite alright. My head is so busy that really it is quite enough to keep it all straight so I actually think that I need that time away from the business that is the world around me.

A problem arises though when you live mostly in your own mind.... people have a tendency to think you are stand offish. Really though that is completely unintentional.... however, it does make for some really awesome people watching.

I remember having a chat with some friends of mine and we were talking about creativity. They mentioned that back in the 60s and 70s when they were younger they did drugs and found that it really enhanced their creative minds. I found that to be strange because it almost seems like an artificial creativity... I had another good friend a little older than the other ones who did drugs, and she said that her best creative moments came when she was in the bathroom.... I had a good laugh at that one.... and have occasionally used that myself. However, my best creative moments come unforeseen and unexpected and at any time at all.... my mind for some reason never really turns off. The minute my eyes open I start to see things as they could be and not necessarily as they are. I am always coming up with good ideas.... which sometimes can really irritate Teapot. And sometimes my mind doesn't really turn off at all... even when I am asleep.... those are the nights I hate because the ideas won't stop but they never fully form and you wake up not well rested at all.....

I can see how this would all seem a little dangerous. Perhaps I'm standing on the edge of a precipice and don't even know it. I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day with me... all I can say is that living inside my own head is not really all that bad and I do get out occasionally.....

No you don't...
Yes I do.....
No you don't...
Yes I do....

Argh! See what I mean....