Creepy Crawlies

There once was a lady.... (yeah I know I did this a few days ago.... get over it, I'm doing it again!!) The lady always wanted an ensuite bathroom. She waited many years to get an ensuite bathroom. One day her hubby and she decided to do a bunch of renovations on their house which included building an ensuite bathroom. The end result was wonderful for a while. She loved her new ensuite bathroom. She did not have to go downstairs in the middle of the night anymore. Her new ensuite bathroom was fulfilling all her dreams.

One day she noticed a large spider in the corner of the bathroom where the ceiling met the wall. She wanted to kill it but kept thinking about it being a living thing and that she should leave it be because it wasn't doing any harm.... and it was eating moths and little wee flies. Good little spider, she thought. She decided to name it Gertrude. Every day when she went to the bathroom she would talk to Gertrude. One day Gertrude started to come down off her web and the lady got nervous. She didn't like spiders ever since her Hubby had been bitten by a Brown Recluse and underwent months of a weird creeping skin rash that would creep along his arm. (Aloe from the plant rubbed twice a day on the affected area will get rid of it.) The lady didn't like spiders when they were near her, but she was o.k. if they stayed up on the ceiling. The lady began to talk to Gertrude about her fear and how she would have to kill her if she came down any further. After a short while Gertrude returned to her web and the lady was satisfied that Gertrude would stay there. One day Gertrude disappeared and the lady was not really sorry.

Months passed. Then one day the lady noticed a small spider that looked like a miniature version of Gertrude. Once again she wanted to kill it but again she felt that it was a living thing and since it spun webs and the lady was a spinner too she felt that she shouldn't really kill it. The next day she noticed another spider in another corner of the bathroom. Soon she was noticing spiders in the corner of her bedroom and hanging from the light fixture. "Thanks Gertrude," she thought, "you've had babies."

The lady decided that enough was enough. She started killing the spiders and after a while she thought she had them. Over the next week she noticed a spider every now and again and so she would get her broom and with much squealing, she would knock the spider down and kill it.

One night she stayed up late doing work on her level 3 and finally went to bed quite a bit later than normal. She went into her prided ensuite bathroom and began to brush her teeth. As she was doing so she happened to glance in the mirror and noticed a spider descending on its web and about to land on her shoulder. "Ack!" she said, and promptly jumped to the right. She grabbed some toilet paper and squished that spider in short order, flushing it down the toilet so that it would never bother her again. She went back to the sink to finish brushing her teeth and bent over to spit and when she stood up, she glanced into the mirror just in time to notice another spider descending on its spider web and about to land on her shoulder again. This time she said more than Ack! (We won't discuss what she said though, because she has to say a few prayers of forgiveness today!) She squished that spider too, but that is the last straw! She is seriously po'd with Gertrude.

The moral of the story is.... do not become friendly with spiders in your new ensuite bathroom. They are double crossing blighters and might crawl in your mouth when you are asleep.... causing you to have nightmares rather than fulfilling your dreams of ensuite bliss.

I am not a freak!